Sunday, December 30, 2007


has plenty of brains
and beauty that will never cease
knocking everyone's socks off
and she goes around acting the moron
with men, I suppose because of the usual
supposition that men
don't like women with brains, but they do! They do!
Real men do. But there are men
who don't mind them as long as they play dumb
and that's the kind she finds. She listens to the
chauvinistic stories they tell her as if she could not
think for herself. I'm afraid if this goes on long
enough it will become true. And as far as I can see
this will be fine with her.

Who would want
to hang around such men? Women find
men to sleep with, men to dance with, men
to converse with, without turning themselves into
morons. So I started thinking, "What are her
core values?" and it struck me that perhaps following the
teachings of her first lover, she became a
mammonite. It's sad, too; mammonites never
get to enjoy what money can buy for them (a study of which
would reveal their core values); it's the money, the mere
symbol, they go after, not the thing itself. As for me,
I love to spend money but I don't like to work
for it, but though I spend whatever is given me I
would be just as happy without it, I'm
funny that way. And they
are money that way. I think
my happiest years were those I spent trying to figure out
how to stretch a borrowed three dollars to cover
dinner for two and how
to pay it back. Working. I don't like to
work but I like
having a little coming in and making it
do me, while all the while wishing
for more. Oh, it's a lie, that I
don't like working, I do, I love it. Even
sitting at a desk alI day had its
moments but remembering to bring the
promised coffee and making change while taking orders
- that was joy. I don't remember ever thinking
"Oh, how I wish I were happy" when I had
hardly any money. Now I have enough and don't
even have to work for it any more and
wish that all the time.

No comments: