THAT DAMNED CHRISTINA

That Damned Christina

disappeared my nuts. I'm going

to kill her. Perfectly good nuts
ziplocked away
without the slightest attraction for ants.
I remember her
standing over there saying something about
how she hated ants and I
agreed with her, never dreaming she would
throw my nuts out. She is nuts and if I could I would
throw her out. Never mind, I'm going back to
Fonda this very day and get more nuts and
this time I will put a big sign on them saying
DO NOT DISTURB. ON PAIN OF DEATH,
DO NOT
MOVE THESE NUTS FROM THIS SPOT.

I used to have belongings that I thought
were mine - a doll, a rattle, a yo-yo I couldn't
work - that I learned were not mine by having them
disappeared by my mother, the boss of
the universe. Christina is not
my mother and she is not the boss of
anything in this house but she acts as if
she were both. I think I will just
tell her the next time she comes, "Christina,
if you move my nuts or anything of mine
from where it is to somewhere else where I will not
know to look for it - if you do that, Christina, I
will kill you. On the spot. In cold blood. And your
children will go hungry and I will go to
prison I know but that doesn't matter because I am
not long for this world now anyhow and I will die happy knowing
you can never again hide my snacks.